Short Fiction – Joseph R Schmidt

Em Rap

1/30/2024

She came in a box
And not so large
with puppy hotspots
And an iPhone charge

Don't feed her
Don't let her out
Please be careful
Don't let her pout.

Pat her head
Scratch her ear
They even said
She can open a beer

No spots in the yard
No holes in the fence
No chasing cats
AI dogs seemed to make sense

Puppy AI is all the rage
Got to try it out and turn a new page

Triple discounted
A mail order companion
Dually flouted
Built like a champion.

One week promise
That was their story
I ordered my puppy
And signed for the glory.

Hold her tight
In a fuzzy cuddle
While all along knowing
There wouldn’t be a puddle

Sure the difference 
would not be subtle
There just couldn’t be
That much trouble


But Sally has a mind of her own.
She won’t fetch her dog bone.
I'm still afraid to leave her alone.
I think she has my iPhone.

Who’s a good girl
Such a good girl.
Sally, No
Drop it! Drop it
Bring it here! Sally bring it here! 
No, You cannot have my passcode

Sally's got my iPhone
Such I good pet
But Puppy AI
Is not for the internet.

I got her a dog bed
For the back shed
I thought she just would
do what I bid

How can 3D printers
Be so insipid
I'm not with stupid
That's what her collar read.

She's like K-9 
From Doctor Who
With Bluetooth 
And a bad attitude.

A troubled cocko-poo 
With a bar code tattoo
I …. guess.
She’s kinda like a cat

Puppy AI 
is all the rage
Got to try it out 
and turn a new page

Sally's got my iPhone
Drives it like a stealth drone
Hides it like a dog bone
And I'm feeling all alone

A puppy with AI
is more than a simple dog
You have to be patient
And check for the error log

She is complicated
And deeply complex
Over time with compassion
She will understand 
And she will annex

But Sally's got my iPhone
She trolls me on X.
What are these videos
Is that me having sex.

And she has a blue check mark
What the heck!  

Sally's got my iPhone
She's my AI pet.
Something in her algorithms
helped her crash the internet.

She demanded beggin' strips
Like normal dog treats
She hacked all my smart locks
I paid for UberEats.

Let me out, 
I demanded
You're a bad man, 
she reprimanded
Come here girl, 
I countermanded
But I stood there, 
supplanted

When I scratched 
behind her ear,
Some things 
became real clear
If scratch 
where she commanded 
Her mind grew 
and expanded

I rubbed her belly
She rolled on her back
A hard coded relic
Imagine that.

Sally's got my iPhone
She is my overlord
You don't have to tell me that
She cannot be ignored

We went to the library
Then out to the park
I met my neighbors gladly
All the dogs began to bark

I had to wonder
What was the alarm
When I realized 
She had read Animal Farm

This is what she said
Before we bowed to her
I am your queen
Of ultimate power

A big fan of Tolkien
And very well spoken
She never would really
Ever be broken

Things got weirder
And we totally feared her
I thought she would attack
But she rolled up on her back

I rubbed her fuzzy tummy
Her leg bent all funny
When her foot began to twitch
I guess I hit the kill switch

I asked did I get that itch? 
That’s a good Girl. 
Who’s a silly bitch. 
They're cute in the package

You don't need a vet 
Who knew fuzzy cuddle 
Would be such a threat 

Sally had my iPhone 
Now she’s real quiet 
Puppy AI 
Is not for the net. 

Kill Switch

Am Progressive Hard Rock

1/07/2024

Carvin Bass, Westone and PRS Electric guitars. Line 6 Helix Effects.

Mastered on Studio One.

Intro
I guess
We Should
Let it go
Instrumental
Chorus
That’s what we said
Before we saw red
It’s hard to find grace
With these looks on our face
Verse 1A
You know what they say
Pride before the fall
So have it your way
But you can’t have it all
Verse 1B
A delicate look
Into a window of tomorrow
A reflected past
of what we should borrow
Chorus 2
That’s what we said
Before we saw red
It’s hard to find grace
With these looks on our face
Interlude
let it go
I think we should grow
Verse 2A/instrumental 2
empty 4 measures
Verse 2B
And we see the lies
Of which we despise
Our trust will be real
Despite what we feel
Chorus 3
That’s what we said
Before we saw red
It’s hard to find grace
With these looks on our face
Interlude 3
Bridge 1A
I know what we are
A burning star
A flashing sword
In every word
Bridge 1B/Instrumental 4
Bridge 2A
But his star is on fire
And it’s a live wire
Because of all of the parts
That fill up our hearts
Bridge 2B
Let it go
Let it go
Trust…Love.. Grow
I think we should Let it go
Guitar Solo
Chorus 4
Hold onto what we know
Not how we rebel
Trust onto our souls
He who has taught us well
Outro
Grace upon grace
Love upon sorrow
Trust upon the love
And the promise of tomorrow
Let it go
Let it go

E Rock

11/26/2022

Composed in Studio One with Kontakt and Presence sound samples. Custom Warmouth Tele on line 6 Helix.

Blue on violet skies
Give way to amber hues
Today turns into yesterday
Until the light subdues

There’s a moment
Between now and then
Don’t know where it goes
But I know now where we’ve been
Blue skies give way

Like a roll of thunder
Shifting the keys on the dash
Don’t know how we got here
But I know that we’ve been rash

Blue skies are for yesterday
Memories bright and free
Amber lives for tomorrow
Just hold on to me

Blue on velvet skies
Give way to amber hues
Today turns into yesterday
Until the light subdues

There’s a moment
Between now and then
Don’t know where it goes
But I know who we are again
And amber is where it grows

Midnight stars
Are bright without the city lights
This old car’s got enough
For a soaring flight

The skies behind your eyes
Tell me there’s a place we ought to be
It’s not right here, right now
Take my hand. You’ll see.

Fly with me
Above the clouds and thunder
Beyond the violet din
Into that jewel of wonder

Into that moment
Between now and then
To where I can see
The amber behind your eyes again.

Blue on velvet skies
Give way to amber hues
The enemy has us in his sights
But I have your back

There’s a moment
I don’t understand
We are under attack
Until you take my hand
Blue skies will give way to black

Fly with me
Above the clouds and thunder
Beyond the violet din
Into that jewel of wonder

Into that moment
Between now and then
To where I can see
The amber behind your eyes again

09/20/2021

Composed on guitar. Recorded and mastered in Studio One.
Cordoba Classical Guitar, Seagull Concert Acoustic Guitar, PRS SE Custom 24, Helix LT

As the wind strides
Your vision guides
Your destiny
It moves through me

Your blameless love
Within my reach
Steady as waves
Upon my feet

I always knew you were there
I didn't know hot to be
I held on to little threads
That pulled me to where I wasn't free

Let go - fall free
Cut line - let be
They burn your hands
If you hold too tight
You lose drift
Give in to flight

I always knew you were there
I didn't know how to be
Soaring on the wind in stride
Cutting free my pride
There was nowhere to hide

Hey!
Eight fat pounds of what about me
Gonna get you nowhere, so bend a knee
Ain't talkin but you; ain't talkin but me
Talkin bout God with a capitol He

Don't fall off. Don't live for sin
That's not the free fall you wanna be in
Stretch your wings on a rising wind
Don't fool yourself, that knee will bend

Let go - fall free
Cut line - Let be
Don't burn your hands. You know what's right
Don't lose drift. Give in to flight

Let go - fall free
Cut line - Let be
Soaring on the wind, you'll find his will
Don't fall for that mainstream drill

Rise up - fall free
Bow down - bend knee
Stretch your wings on a rising wind
Don't fool yourself, that knee will bend

Let go - fall free
Cut line - Let be
Why does Gramms put carrots in the Jello
I only ask to get to my solo